About Us
Just the Facts
Andrew does most of the writing for the website, due to a combination of a bizarre imagination and loads of free time (one of the lesser-known benefits of having no social life whatsoever). He harbors an irrational hatred of Karen Traviss. His plans for the future are to trick a publishing company into paying him to write, which he’d just do anyway. This is because, as a history major and political science minor, his career options are pretty much either teaching history or some law stuff.
Ryan is primarily the web master for this site. He occasionally writes for the site, and as a grammar Nazi, is Andrew's primary proofreader and beta-reader. His hobbies include musical composition and technology (usually in combination). He plans to work for Cisco Systems after obtaining a degree in computer engineering.
Gannon Benson is a guest contributor and aspiring author. He can totally play guitar.
Slightly Embellished Version
Space Wars was founded in time immemorial by a group of warrior-monks in the mountains of southern Alberta. Deciding that its powers were too great for the world (and that the small fraction of the population that was literate would not want to read a parody of something that didn’t exist yet), they sealed it away for a very long time.
Andrew Erickson was born in a small town in Belgium in 1808, on a one-square-meter patch of ground that was technically American territory. Due to the Napoleonic Wars raging at the time, he grew up with a massive hatred towards French people, which he channeled into the invention of the first waffle assembly line in 1819. He was then frozen in a waterfall in Switzerland after leaning too far over a rocky outcropping, only to be unfrozen in the distant future. He then moved to America in order to make a new fortune as a waffle baron. Unfortunately, that didn’t work out, so he quickly resorted to writing parodies on the Internet. Together with Ryan he resurrected Space Wars, mostly because he had nothing better to do.
Ryan Clough was genetically engineered from the DNA of Stephen Hawking, Albert Einstein, and Wilt Chamberlain. He built his own computer while still in the womb, and by the age of five had begun construction of his own doomsday device. He has also created a Theory of Everything, which he refuses to share. It took him five hundred and eight years to write, a feat that required constructing a pocket dimension in which time passes much slower than on Earth. He came up with the idea for reviving Space Wars while on an archeological dig during which he ransacked a cursed Iroquois burial mound. Also, he is Kira.
